THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND
Hello and welcome back, Friends. I just wanted to say, first off, thank you all for being a friend to the Blog and supporting it all these years. That means a lot to me. I think we all know it's difficult to hear "Thank you for being a friend" without the theme music immediately playing in our heads. We may even sing along. lol.
The 1980s fan favorite, Golden Girls, is a cultural phenomenon. It is a show that most of us remember fondly and may still even go back and rewatch all over again from the beginning. A popular cosplay favorite. There are conventions exclusively devoted to the fans of this show. There was even an Off-Broadway drag review devoted to the Golden Girls that ran for several years here in New York City. With countless references in pop culture and other TV shows, it's tough to say that The Golden Girls hasn't touched a wide audience in the world. I might even go as far as to say that I have never met anyone who didn't like the Golden Girls in some aspect. I think it would be really tough to hate that show.
All this considered, I tried recently to remember back when I was very first introduced to the show. While I can't pinpoint the year exactly, I do remember that I was young. I was visiting my maternal grandmother (known as Mamaw) and, of course, would watch the TV shows that she watched. I loved visiting my Mamaw because I always preferred her company to that of my mother's or father's. So when I was told that I would be "babysat" by my Mamaw, that was always a happy occasion. She was always very kind to me. There were several shows that I was introduced to by her that I still share a great affinity for: Wheel of Fortune, The Price is Right (with Bob Barker), Murder She Wrote, and, of course, The Golden Girls. I am pretty sure the show was already in syndication by this time, but story continuity from episode to episode never bothered me as a child.
Any fan will be the first to tell you who they more closely relate to. And it seems quite fair that, over the years, people divide themselves into the various personalities presented by the 4 main characters. Dorothy Zbornak is The Rationalist. She is logical, analytical, sarcastic, structured, responsible, and direct. She is known for her quick wit, her cynicism, and being the "voice of reason." Blanche Devereaux is The Hedonist. She is outgoing, vain, spontaneous, fun-loving, impulsive, and charming. She is known for her confidence, her man-hungry nature, her vivaciousness, and her self-absorbed disposition. Rose Nylund is The Nurturer and/or The Fool. She is naive, empathetic, loyal, sweet, and focused on community/family. She is known for her innocence, her gullibility, her optimism, and her love of long, rambling stories. Sophia Petrillo is The Pragmatist and/or The Matriarch. She is direct, blunt, sharp-tongued, quick-witted, unconventional, rooted in tradition, and family-focused. She is known for her fierce independence, her wisdom, her bluntness, and her off-color sense of humor.
I know we each see parts of ourselves within those characters. Just for fun, I have included a "Which Golden Girl Are You?" Personality test. Just click on the photo image above to take the test and find out who you are most like.
There's a lot to cover in this post, but let's talk a little bit about the Art... which is kinda the main reason to post anything on this blog. It is an Art Blog afterall. Several years ago, I began investing in an Art Shop. At the time, EVERY Illustrator and Designer had an art shop where they sold all kinds of items that featured their work. I would say the results of that experiment were less than encouraging (to put it nicely). At the end of the day, these Art Shops require a lot of heavy financial investment upfront to create inventory, shipping materials, etc. They need a proper/adequate storage facility to store all the inventory and shipping supplies. They also need a community of people to financially support them. They also require A LOT of time. Unfortunately, there wasn't any support for this shop, and I ended up closing it last year. I haven't really decided if I am going to keep it permanently closed or maybe revisit the idea again sometime in the future..., but for now, it's definitely on hiatus.
The impetus for these Golden Girls Portraits was that they were going to adorn one of the Greeting Cards that I wanted to offer for sale in the shop. They would be a sort of hybrid Thank You and Friendship card. I did do a test print and was quite pleased with the outcome, but never ended up putting them up for sale because the shop wasn't doing well, and I didn't want to add more financial burden onto me on top of what I had already poured into the shop. Especially when no one was supporting my Art.
They are obviously Warhol-inspired. I love the work of Andy Warhol. I think he's a genius. I modeled my illustrations of the Golden Girls after Warhol's Marilyn Monroe paintings. I thought that by somewhat "copying" the idea, it fit in very well with the conceptual nature of Pop-Art. Andy Warhol’s Marilyn Monroe paintings (starting in 1962) serve as a profound meditation on fame, mortality, and the desensitizing nature of mass media. By turning a publicity still into a repeated, artificial, and vibrant image, Warhol reduced the actress to a manufactured product while simultaneously elevating her to a secular, martyred icon.
My original intention of turning these illustrations eventually into a product really fit conceptually with the aesthetic I chose. I even picked the color schemes for each portrait illustration directly from one of the Monroe paintings. If I were going to copy, I was going to copy as much as would make sense for the concept.
10 THINGS I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT BEA ARTHUR:
1.) She was a U.S. Marine: In 1943, 20-year-old Bernice Frankel (her birth name) enlisted in the Marine Corps Women's Reserve, serving as a typist and driver-dispatcher at Cherry Point, NC, until 1945.
2.) She was a Staff Sergeant: During her time in the Marines, she rose to the rank of Staff Sergeant.
3.) She originally denied her military service: Despite her official record, Arthur frequently denied that she had ever enlisted in the Marine Corps, refusing to speak about it in interviews.
4.) She was a Broadway star first: Before her television fame, she was a respected theater actress, originating the role of Yente the Matchmaker in Fiddler on the Roof (1964) and winning a Tony Award for Mame (1966).
5.) She was a trained vocalist: Before her acting career, she trained in the arts, including playing piano, organ, and studying singing.
6.) She hated cheesecake: Despite her character constantly eating it on The Golden Girls, Arthur reportedly could not stand the taste of cheesecake.
7.) She did not have pierced ears: Although her characters often wore large earrings, Arthur did not have her ears pierced.
8.) She was in the Star Wars Holiday Special: In 1978, she played a barmaid named Ackmena in the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special.
9.) She was a fierce advocate for LGBTQ+ youth: She was a prominent supporter of the Ali Forney Center in NYC, which helps homeless LGBT youth, and left a large sum in her will to the organization.
10.) She left The Golden Girls to end on a high note: Contrary to rumors of a rift, Arthur left the show after seven seasons because she felt the storylines were declining and wanted to leave while it was still popular.
10 THINGS I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT RUE MCCLANAHAN:
1.) She was not Southern: Unlike her character Blanche, who hailed from Georgia, McClanahan was born in Healdton, Oklahoma.
2.) She was a "Most Likely to Succeed" prodigy: A member of the Ardmore High School Class of 1952 in Oklahoma, she was voted "most likely to succeed" by her classmates.
3.) She kept the wardrobe: McClanahan had a clause in her Golden Girls contract allowing her to keep all of Blanche’s custom-made designer clothing, which filled 13 closets.
4.) She was married six times: She famously titled her 2007 memoir My First Five Husbands... And the Ones Who Got Away.
5.) She played a nasty nanny (in one of her previous roles), where she was trying to poison her employer. She received a letter from a "fan" with an actual recipe for a real poison and detailed instructions on how to administer it.
6.) She wore blue contacts: Though her natural eye color was not blue, she wore blue contact lenses to enhance her look for the screen.
7.) She was an author and activist: Besides her memoir, she was a passionate animal rights activist and vegetarian.
8.) She was mistaken for a man and nearly drafted into the military. Her birth name, Eddi-Rue McClanahan, is mostly to blame for this confusion, as many people misspell the name as Eddie Rue instead. This misfortune reached as far as the federal government when Rue received an official draft notice.
9.) She was not close with Bea Arthur: While they worked together, she revealed in interviews that she and Betty White did not have a very close, warm relationship with the notoriously eccentric Bea Arthur.
10.) Before television, she was a very serious and celebrated star of the New York stage. She won the Obie for her performance in the Off-Broadway production of Who's Happy Now, where she played a waitress, which drew attention from television producers who later cast her in her first television roles.
10 THINGS I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT BETTY WHITE:
1.) She Was Actually Named "Betty": Her birth name was not Elizabeth or Bethany; she was legally named Betty at birth.
2.) She Was Older Than Sliced Bread: Betty was born on January 17, 1922, and bread was first sold pre-sliced in 1928.
3.) She was a Trailblazing Producer: In the 1950s, she became one of the first women to produce a sitcom, Life with Elizabeth.
4.) She was a Licensed Zoo Keeper: Due to her intense love for animals, she was an honorary zookeeper at the Los Angeles Zoo.
5.) She Was Almost Blanche: She was originally offered the role of Blanche Devereaux on The Golden Girls, but switched to Rose Nylund to avoid being typecast as a "man-hungry" character.
6.) She Volunteered in WWII: During World War II, she put her acting career on hold to volunteer with the American Women's Voluntary Services.
7.) She was a Reality Show Fan: White was a huge fan of watching reality television, especially Survivor.
8.) She had a Hidden Temper: Known for her sweet demeanor, she once threw a toaster across a set during a tense game of Super Password.
9.) She was a Literary Award Winner: In 2012, she won a Grammy Award for best spoken-word recording for her book If You Ask Me (And Of Course You Won't).
10.) She had a Specific Diet: Famously anti-diet, she frequently joked about her love for hot dogs, red vines, and vodka, while avoiding vegetables.
10 THINGS I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ESTELLE GETTY:
1.) Younger Than Her "Daughter": Despite playing the mother of Bea Arthur (Dorothy), Getty was actually a year younger than Arthur in real life. In fact, she was the youngest of all her castmates despite playing the oldest character.
2.) Intense Stage Fright: She suffered from severe stage fright, often forgetting her lines and becoming "unreachable" on taping days.
3.) The "Slats" Nickname: Her Golden Girls co-stars affectionately called her "Slats" due to her short and slight stature.
4.) Long Makeup Process: It took the makeup department 45 minutes to transform her into the elderly Sophia Petrillo, a transformation she underwent in her 60s.
5.) LGBTQ+ Advocate: She was an early, vocal supporter of LGBTQ+ rights and a passionate AIDS activist.
6.) "Tootsie" Connection: She was the only one of the four main Golden Girls to appear in a film nominated for a Best Picture Oscar, acting in Tootsie (1982).
7.) First Major Role: The Golden Girls was her first big television role, which contributed to her intense, nervous energy on set.
8.) She would practice and study for her character's Brooklyn accent by eavesdropping on conversations at diners and bus stops.
9.) Health Struggles: In 2000, she stopped public appearances due to Parkinson's disease and osteoporosis, and it was later revealed she had Lewy Body Dementia.
10.) She was a lifelong Stage Actress but did not find success until her 60's.
I think the show and its characters resonate so well with a wide audience because, if we are all honest, we pine for that kind of camaraderie at that age for ourselves. We see parts of ourselves in one character or another, and we each secretly hope that when we are that age, we find a similar kind of friendship and community. Who wouldn't want to be surrounded by the best friends they've ever had during their Golden Years? I certainly would love to have that for myself, I admit.
This leads me to a very curious rabbit hole of sorts: What does it actually mean to be friends with someone or to be a friend? How or why do we form these bonds? Why is it easier to form friendships as children? Why is it so difficult to make friends as an adult? How do we even go about making friends as adults?
Friends are defined as persons with whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. It is a deep, authentic, and mutually supportive bond based on trust, unwavering loyalty, and unconditional acceptance. It is characterized by empathy, honest communication, and being a constant, dependable presence through both triumphs and hardships. True friends prioritize each other's well-being without jealousy. It typically excludes family connections or bonds with a romantic partner.
Key Characteristics of True Friendship:
-Unconditional Acceptance: True friends embrace you for who you are, including your flaws and imperfections, providing a safe, non-judgmental space.
-Trust and Loyalty: They are dependable, keep confidences, and stick by your side, even when things are difficult.
-Empathy and Emotional Support: They feel with you, offering genuine care during both good and bad times.
-Honesty and Candor: True friends are honest with you, offering direct, constructive, and loving feedback.
-Mutual Effort and Respect: The relationship is a "two-way street" where both people contribute, respect each other's boundaries, and celebrate each other's successes.
-Constant Presence: They are consistent in their support, not just present during the easy, fun times, but during the "quiet and slow" days too.
What True Friendship Is Not:
-Superficial: It goes deeper than just having similar interests or acquaintances.
-Jealous: True friends are genuinely happy for your success, not threatened by it.
-Conditional: It does not require you to be perfect or to constantly prove your value.
As little humans, we may find it easier and sometimes natural to form friendships at a young age. Since we are already in the mindset of learning new things and having new experiences, we probably view the "work" of making friends as just another thing we have to learn in life amonst everything else we are learning at that same time. So, in some ways, it's pre-programmed into our lives by the structure of our societies. Most childhood friendships form through opportunities for shared activities, proximity to each other, and continual play. As toddlers and pre-schoolers, our friendships originate based on proximity, shared play, and simple interactions. We are drawn to others by the simplicity of similar interests alone. By the time we reach elementary school age (6-12), our bonds with others become slightly more selective. We focus on common interests and shared activities, which increase our levels of trust and loyalty in others. We have all heard stories about how certain people met each other in grade school and formed a friendship that lasted throughout life. It is the golden standard that we all want for ourselves and others.
Personally, making friends as a child was a constant challenge. Not because I wasn't able to relate or find common interests between myself and other children, but because I was one of "those families" that moved around a lot when I was young. I was ALWAYS the "new kid," and I am sure many others reading this can definitely relate because that may have also been their childhood experience. My family would move somewhere and settle in. I would eventually form bonds with the local kids in my class and neighborhood. Sometimes those bonds were cross-overs, sometimes they weren't. And by the time you really get established and find a place where you "fit", the family will uproot and move to somewhere else, far away from where you were before. And then, you have to start all over again as the "new kid" in some other place. It was very sad to grow up in a constant state of always leaving my friends behind, and the constant stress of trying to make new friends in the place I just moved to. Over time and with age, the sadness either lessens or you just become more used to it, and it becomes more and more difficult to find/make new friends the older you get. The older the group of people, the less likely you are to find a place to belong or fit in with others.
This becomes more pronounced as an adult. By the time most humans reach adulthood, they already have an established circle of friends and a community of people. It is far more difficult to make new friends as an adult. If friendships form and grow within opportunities to spend time with each other and connect, then, as an adult, it becomes a little clearer as to why it is more challenging to make new friends at this age. When we were children, we were forced into proximity and regular opportunities to be around other consitently and on a regular basis. Environments such as school or extracurricular activities provided a venue for bonds to form and grow. As adults, there is more of a lack in proximity to other people and a lack of organic settings in which to nurture a new bond. Time constraints factor into this equation as well as prioritization. People have work and family responsibilities that take precedence, leaving little energy or time for new friendships. As I mentioned above, many people who grew up in one place already have established social circles. New people are viewed as just add-ons in most cases. Most adults are reluctant to be vulnerable with new people. This blocks the opportunity to build the deep trust needed to form a new, successful friendship. Selectivity plays into it, also. As we get older, we gravitate more strongly toward specific interests, and we have a lower tolerance for incompatibility regarding shared interests. There are also sometimes Psychological or emotional factors at play as well. Social anxiety, depression or other mental illnesses, fear of rejection, etc. Many of these factors often lead people to gravitate more toward isolation and stay home as opposed to engaging in social situations
So what is the answer? If you, by chance, find yourself in a situation where you move far away to a new place with a new start, and you leave your social circle behind and find yourself in a position to make new friends from scratch... How do you do it?
Making friends as an adult requires intentionality, consistency, and vulnerability. Some best methods include joining recurring, interest-based groups (classes, sports, volunteering), leveraging existing networks, and proactively initiating invitations to turn acquaintances into friends. Key strategies involve being open to new, regular interactions in your local area.
SOME HELPFUL TIPS IN FORMING NEW FRIENDSHIPS AS AN ADULT:
-Go where people congregate regularly: Join book clubs, walking groups, sports leagues, or take classes to ensure you see the same people frequently, making it easier to build rapport.
-Leverage your current network: Ask acquaintances or current friends to introduce you to others, or check if existing friends know anyone with similar interests.
-Be the one to initiate: Take initiative and invite people to low-stakes hangouts, such as coffee, lunch, or a walk. Don't be afraid to ask for contact information after a good conversation.
-Use technology: Utilize apps designed for finding friends, such as Bumble BFF, Meetup, or local community social media groups.
-Be vulnerable and consistent: Building deep connections requires moving past small talk, sharing, and consistent, regular interaction.
-Say "Yes" to invitations: Actively say yes to social invitations, even if you feel tired or hesitant, to build your social network.
-Try volunteering: Giving your time connects you with like-minded people while serving the community
Of course, these are not the most definitive ways to go about succeeding in making new friends. Find a way that best works for you and your life situation. Or if you already have a robust social circle, awesome! Congrats to you! Cherish it, as many would envy such a thing.
We all need friends. No one is an island to themselves, as they say. We are, after all, social animals, whether we want to admit to that or not. We NEED to connect with others. It is important for our survival. I just recently watched perhaps one of the most beautiful films that I have ever seen on the topic of human connectivity and empathy. The film is called Rental Family, starring Brendan Fraser. It's such a touching and emotionally moving film. I can't recommend it enough.
Hopefully, we all can succeed in creating a community for ourselves, regardless of our age or stage of life we are at. I personally would love to have a Golden Girls sort of situation for myself at that age. I think we all would. As I bring this post to a close, I recommend that you go out and spend some time with a friend this weekend. Get out there and connect with another human in some way.
To all the wonderful humans in my life who have remained close to me over all these years, I want to say I truly appreciate you and cherish our bond. THANK YOU For Being a Friend.
until next time,
Keep dreaming, keep sketching, keep thinking, keep laughing, and most important of all, keep making art.
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